A misbehaviour child brings out many emotions in parents: anger, frustration, confusion, depression, even fear. These strong negative feelings can trigger struggles to control that, in turn, lead to more problems often creating a cycle that undermines both family harmony and children’s long-term development.
To avoid this cycle, the parent should have a philosophy that emphasizes on prevention and guidance. When parent address children’s overall development, we call it “proactive parenting”. Parents adopt this proactive approach to behaviour problems when
- They view behaviour problems as the natural outgrowth of a child’s development.
- They view children’s misbehaviour as presenting opportunities to guide and help children learn more mature ways to get what they want.
- They work to prevent behaviour problems and the ensuing battles that undermine relationships and harmony in the home.
It is natural for young children to be impulsive, and have a low tolerance for frustration. Their teacher gave them an alternative to grabbing that prevented a chaotic mess, and also supported their beginning efforts at self-control.
Another example is preparing to visit a restaurant. Ask young children ahead of time what they want to eat. If you know your two-half-year-old can not sit still for long, hold his hand and take him for a walk to the entrance, pointing out interesting sights along the way. Avoid putting children in situations that place too many demands on their emerging abilities to control themselves.